I know why it's so great [Humor]

Says Jake in the Original, Jake and Amir, by CollegeHumor. I was reminded of this randomly when I was reading regular troll posts by Apple fans. Enjoy!

Big fan of CH, I am. Peace out.

Some People Just Expect Apple To Buy EVERYTHING [FAIL]

Source: Technologizer

This article is so bad that Apple fans have something to say about it.

It all started with another fresh rumor of Apple's many: Buying Barnes & Noble.

The article then spun off into a disappointed direction lamenting the fact that Apple did not buy things that it could afford. Things like: Universal Music, Pixar, TiVo, Palm, Disney, Nintendo (thank goodness they did not), Sun, AMD, Adobe, Sony, Yahoo, EA, Twitter and Hulu.

Or the fact that Apple didn't go on a shopping spree to buy EA, Sony, Netflix, Facebook, or Disney. Simultaneously.

Apple is definitely rich enough to buy them. It looks to me that the article is directed at what Apple can buy, not what Apple would buy. Apple doesn't need to own music, movies, PDAs, boobs-jumping-out-of-screen games, social networks or mice that speak creepily in a childish way.

All Apple needs now is this.

You are so right, TiPb.

Now, children, Mergers and Acquisitions doesn't seem as fun as shopping for your Christmas present. With power comes responsibilities, says Ben Parker. You need good foresight to look into the future. With the wrong timing and luck, you could risk spending millions, or even billions of dollars on an unwanted and/or outdated technology that contribute to the long list of liabilities in the company.

It's just like buying that limited edition pair of pants thinking "Hey, I can show this off during the New Year" and realising that you've grown fatter and you can't fit in on the important day.

Merger and acquisitions is a form of investment and we all know you don't recklessly invest billions into something unless you're very sure you don't outgrow it in the future.

Contemplating present diet from the Biased Blog. Peace out.

EDITORIAL: Look what you've done, Apple.

Mayora Gori: I felt really a lot after reading GetJar's blog post in response to Apple's bullying. Here's a random post for that.
Sorry, I know I'm destroying the quality of this blog, but just let me have some fun in this post using the word 'EDITORIAL' as a bad excuse. Inspired by a random comment by Explodreamer anyway.

Sing to the tune of Jet's "Look What You've Done"

Here's a video for assistance:


Take my app off your store
If it won't sell just for you
'Cause all that's exclusive has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to own

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my freedom to choose
'Cause I can't just sell for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my app of your store
If it won't just sell for you
'Cause all that's exclusive has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to own

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone






...Sorry Jet.

Google+ Is Everything Facebook, Twitter, Flickr, RIM, Skype Wanted To Be, World Domination Intended [Social Networks]

Source: Gizmodo, Google+

Google announced a new social-oriented service earlier today, Google+. Currently it's only available to invited users, and the Android App isn't available in all countries yet. It's an ambitious project, aiming to murder the existence of Facebook, Twitter, Flickr (or any photo-sharing website), RIM, Skype, iMessage (which is the least of worries).



Let's take a look at what features it provides, in the most biased manner.

Circles

Attempts to kill: Facebook, Twitter, Orkut, Buzz (yeah) and ALL Social Networking websites.

Why?
Circles, in short, is like Facebook's Groups, Twitter's Lists, but not exactly. It is a personal grouping of friends, in the way you want to share private information, interesting links, embarrassing photos, and anything you don't want to share with the entire world.

For example, you won't want to share a video of your best friend throwing up while dancing on a toilet bowl with your students if you're a teacher. You wouldn't want to share photos of your secret hobby with people outside of the highly-secretive group a bunch of think-alikes have formed.

Sparks

Attempts to kill: Twitter mainly, in some cases Facebook Pages.

Why?
Sparks is like a list of trending topics, except it is not limited to merely words. It is always there, always ready for you to search for interest groups, and easily add to your list in the left column. It shows the currently popular activities and trending search words, so you're bound to be able to find the latest discussion on the next presidential election, or the opinions on the latest Lady Gaga fashion disaster, or the Nexus 3.

Couple that with +1, it will be easy to find what your friends like and recommend.

Facebook Pages is a disaster and a total mess, although there is the ability to arrange items in the left column, it's cluttered with stuff you never want there. Together with Notes, Photos etc.

Hangout

Attempts to kill: Skype, FaceTime (and iDevices), and all video-chat services.

Why?
Multi-way video chatting. Sure it's not new, the iPad 2 has it. And many other technologies. But often than not, the quality isn't very good. Even on Wi-Fi.

During Google I/O, Google has announced that they have optimised the quality of video-chatting on Google Talk. There is no reason to doubt that similar technologies have been applied in Hangout.

Hangout, on top of that, has two features:
-Focus on the current speaker, so you know who's the main speaker at any time. Ask anybody who tried video-chatting with a few people, it's a common frustration, in nearly every call, when your friends don't cooperate and speak at the same time. What Hangout does, is to identify the most prominent speaker at any point of time and let people focus on him/her.

-The reason why it's called "Hangout". It differs from other services in that it allows people to only activate video chat and be in a 'standby' mode when needed, and only show to specified Circles. Within that Circle, anybody in a similar mood can drop in and out of the Hangout at any time. Instead of a purpose-oriented video chat, Hangout is more passive, and encourages people who are similarly bored to, well, Hangout.

Huddle
Attempts to kill: Blackberry Messenger, all internet-messaging apps, iMessage.

Why?
So far it might not be a killer of those services, being only available on Android phones. (I'm not sure if it works on the web app)

However given Google Talk's high-quality chatting with no message loss and seamless transition from phone to PC and back, we can expect a similar service to be available on Huddle as time goes by.

There have been rumours of Google working on an instant messaging app, and there is no reason to doubt it is indeed Huddle.

This is pure speculation, but given the name "Huddle", it might indicate more sharing options than just pure text messaging. You huddle with friends to share photos, videos, music and files. I strongly believe Huddle is far from being complete as of now. Mark my words.

Instant Uploads
Attempts to kill: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram (and all similar services), iDevices.

Why?
Transferring photos from a phone to a computer is a pain. Even though sharing on a phone has been made really easy on Android, and less so on iOS, nothing beats a hassle-free sharing service.

Instant Upload transfers all your photos (if you allow it to) you take with your camera to Google+, where it remains private until you choose to share them with the Circles of your choice.

Sure it down-sizes your photos to enable quicker transferring, but only photos above 2048x2048.

It provides:

-Unlimited photo uploads. Photos larger than 2,048 by 2,048 pixels will automatically be resized when uploading.
-Unlimited video uploads (up to 15 minutes per video, up to 1080p)

Yes, 5GB is not enough for us.

Notifications
Attempts to kill: All social networking websites.

Why?
Ask yourself how often you use Google Search.

Google is basically creating an ecosystem that rides on top of its search engine. Which means as long as Google Search (and actually ANY Google services like Gmail, Google Calendar, Google Documents) is being used, notifications will appear (in red), and tempt one to click on it.

No specific websites to visit, no extensions to add into the browser. Just Google.

However, I must admit that it is possible that the Facebook notification spam syndrome might occur similarly in Google+, depending on how one uses the service. Not many people are interested in clicking a notification button that has a 3-digit number. We'll see about this.

Conclusion:
Google is definitely aiming for World Net Domination with Google+, extending their reach even further. So far I'm liking what I see, and I can't wait for the floodgates to re-open for the invites to start flowing out again. I'm putting big stakes in Google+ that it will be a big thing, whether diehard Facebook fans like it or not.

On top of that, Google Games are incoming. Gmail and Google Calendar has also got a major facelift to fit in with Google+ design philosophy more.

Take that, internetz.

IGN: "Handhelds Should Not Have Good 3D Games!" [3DS]

Source: IGN

("Get me back on the 100" TV or I'll blow your brains off!")

SHAME ON YOU, IGN.

Ok, not all editors write in that adolescent manner over at a (mostly) respectable gaming coverage site, but this particular guy:

SAMUEL CLAIBORN

... deserves an article on our blog! Because he wrote:

Handheld systems compromise certain types of gameplay by design -- they controls are cramped, oddly placed and there just isn't the same amount of real estate on the screen for big, 3D action. Though Resident Evil Revelations currently features the best character models and graphics out of any 3DS title on the floor at E3, it's still kind of a downer to play it on a system ill-equipped to simulate big console titles.

Seriously?

Controls are cramped? Just how big are your hands? Why do I not feel a difference between handhelds and console controllers? Aren't they all designed for human hands? Oddly placed? You play with the Circle Pad, not the D-pad, have you even tried it?

And now, who in the world said that "epic" games must be played on a big screen? Yes I do agree that games look more like movies when played on a huge screen, but does that mean people who watch movies on-the-go on their mp4 players should be shot in the head?

My message to IGN editors: READ what your reporters are writing, they're not all that smart, they NEED you to drill sense into their articles. Or some silver bullets. This guy obviously did not try the 3DS and is probably a Sony fanboy or something. Has he even played a single handheld game in the first place?

Apple Vs Orange (PS Vita) and... Nintendo wins

What? A smart phone vs portable gaming device? Are you nuts? Well, apparently Electronista.com thinks that Apple should be worried about competition 'to a slight degree'. But is it a valid argument to start with?

If we look back 3 years ago, some dude mentioned that iPhone is a gaming console. In 2011, Apple rewarded these games with the 2011 Apple Design Award. Then we look at some features of PS Vita shown here (Disclaimer: I didn't watch it because I wasn't interested in Sony). Now compare these two with 3DS and Wii U.

Now, I've mentioned Wii U, even though it wasn't a portable gaming device, because of this article. To clarify, Miyamoto of Nintendo has explained that Wii U is not a tablet. There's no need to zoom in and out of the 6.2" screen because you play with a real TV screen. So if you're bent on zooming, you should consider mobile gaming instead.

That brings back to my point. Is the argument valid? Well, it is if you consider the demographics of people who plays mobile games, console games and portable games are EXACTLY the same.

We all love to play Mario, Pokemon, Silent Hill, Portal, Call of Duty, Angry Birds and Love Plus. All of them.

Then in this case, both Sony and Apple should start worrying about Nintendo then. Not sure why? Well then, here's some videos showing:

Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater which was on PS2 and will be available on 3DS, PS3 and Xbox 360.

Legend of Zelda tech demo at E3 2011 featuring Wii U's 1080P HD capabilities:

More The Legend of Zelda U Videos

And because I'm a hardcore fan of Legend of Zelda, here's the newest trailer for the series newest installment, Skyward Sword:

Waiting impatiently for the release of Skyward Sword from the Biased blog. Peace out.

Apple Give In; Finally Copies Android. Cheers To All iOS Users! [Apple]

Oh yes. Of course we would stalk WWDC. It's where Apple attempts to awe the world with their magical innovation. Again.

Androidandme.com has written a simple article that summarizes the magic that Apple has gotten from the world of Android-wonderland. It's stuff that Android users have been using for years and iOS users will be able to finally use it after 4 years since the 1st generation of iPhone. Here are the 5 features highlighted that would awe the iOS users:

- Notification center (That doesn't order you to decide what to do immediately.)

- Lock screen that allows you to launch apps from it (Like, Duh.)

- Twitter integration (It's elementary, Watson.)

- Tabbed-browser (Oh wow.)

- PC-freedom (Now your cat and your data will never be at risk. Probably.)

Of course, iOS5 has its perks and advantages as according to this futile argument. Really, Music beta is not the core of Android. It's just another service as with every thing else such as Google docs. While on the other hand, iCloud is like the new iTunes. Whatever you listen to, play with and watch revolves around this core figure. You cannot do without it. And that's definitely not good news for both geeks and casual user. What everyone needs is one less accessory needed to make the damn device work properly.

But still, I'm looking forward to the day where hoards of people rush to buy iPhone4S at an extortion price, flash my Nexus 3 at them and command them to bow, saying "Oh my ancestral big daddy!"

You may rise. *Sniggers*

Imagining my next wonderland from the Biased blog. Peace out.

WhatsApp Is Free! Wow!!! [Apple]

I'm sure that many of you must have realised that WhatsApp for iPhone is now free on the App store!!!

Red signifies unfortunate loyal customers

... Wait, you had to pay 99 cents for it?! My condolences to friends who felt cheated.

Oh, did I mention it's free on the Android Market? From the start.

Reading FB posts sadistically from the Biased blog. Peace out.

O Steve Jobs, Why Do Thou Lie? [Apple]

Source: Every Apple Fansite


Mayora Gori: Yes I'm not dead, I'm merely taking a break (<-not an excuse)

(Oh hey, you look a little short don't you? That's what lying does to people y'know.)

O Steve Jobs, Why? Why do you lie again and again?

At the beginning, we were promised a device that would revolutionise the iPod brand and mobile phones. An idea based on simplicity. You delivered, people loved it. It was a wonderful break from the tedious everyday life, complicated BlackBerry phones and the gazillions of different UI of different phones we had to put up with.

It was a major sell-out, until people discovered obvious flaws that made no sense and had to be fixed, like the landscape keyboard and personal wallpapers. You delivered. It was okay up to this point.

Then you went mad.

You gave people a half-assed multi-tasking, folders to complicate matters and make my phone screen look like an ant-hill in a tank. You approved more and more apps that had notifications I had to activate, and resulted in a mess of notifications that gave me frustration to no end.

Now what are you announcing? I hope the rumours are not real.

The awesome cable-bound syncing gave me a sense of security, and now you're changing it to wireless app syncing? What about my data plan? What about my iTunes on my computer? Wouldn't that mess everything up?

Instead of keeping to your 'simplicity' philosophy, you're messing my home screen even further by adding widgets? People didn't buy iPhones for widgets that provide too much information don't you know that?

Notification system improvement? What do you have in store? Are you going to complicate things even further? I loved the popups to be honest, as annoying as it is. It's simple, intuitive and very iPhone-y.

Cloud music? Music that can only be played if I own the song on iTunes? What about the CDs I bought from the retail stores? You mean I can't play those via the iCloud service?

Just because Google is doing it right?


(In case there are people dense enough not to understand, the points are real but the person above in such desperation is fictional. Maybe. -Mayora Gori)

"I Give Up" From Supermarket [Fail]

This is not an old story; Singaporeans have seen many posts on forums and blogs such as here and here, reports on local newspapers and even stories enacted comically on national TV. Eventually, it was reported on the news when Temasek Polytechnic invented a seemingly punishing shopping cart in an attempt to solve the problem. In the meanwhile, as the supermarket considers its alternatives, I've realised there's an "accommodating" practice that's been happening in my neighbourhood.

One or two 'stolen' shopping carts from a supermarket was abandoned at the void deck and as the days passed on, more joined in the line as if ready to dance around the bon fire. Here are some pictures that I've taken for the past two weeks:

As per tradition (sadly), staff from the supermarket would make a little excursion down the neighbourhood to pick up these shopping cart. Now, if you've realised, there's a pattern in the slideshow. There is never a day where there are no shopping carts parked 'illegally' at the void deck. It's not because I didn't take a photo of the spacious area deliberately. It was because there was never one day where there are no shopping carts at all. It's as if one cart was left at the void deck so that the residents could park their stolen carts conveniently.

"This doesn't constitute to stealing now, isn't it?"

From now on, it's no longer stealing. It's called borrowing.

Planning for the next grocery shopping trip from the Biased blog. Peace out.

Good Designer Phones Stay In Japan, We Continue Living In A Monochrome World [Mobile]

Source: GSMArena


This makes iPhones look like crap.



There have been several designer phones out over the years, as mobile phones become a symbol of identity and status. However good designer phones should not be judged based on unreasonably-high prices.

Several designer brands have tied up with mobile phone manufacturers, but hardly any revolutionise, and simply put their logo on the phone.

Others are plain ugly:

(Image from KateSpadeLoveAffair)

Which probably only a specific group of people will want, like Singaporeans' favourite MP, Tin Pei Ling:

Anyway... The header video's featured phone, the KDDI iida INFOBAR, is what I mean by a good designer phone. Stylish, simple, designed not just plastered all over the exterior, but extends into the software (Android 2.3 with designer custom UI that is actually practical and drool-worthy) and even the live wallpapers too. Not to mention that it's probably cost-efficient too.

It just probably has a forgettable and bad name.

Now here is my question: Why are Japanese manufacturers reluctant to release their amazing-looking devices outside of Japan? Don't they know that many people overseas are destroying their keyboards drooling over them?

Please, Japan, let our money flow into your wallets, let go of your exclusivity and enjoy an even richer life.

Google Music Beta Tastes Sour For iOS Users [Mobile War]

I initially wanted to let this article pass but it kept coming back into my mind ever since the announcement of Music beta at Google I/O 2011. Here are some of the basic highlights of Music beta (we'll have more of it in a later post):

- Upload your music from your sources (including iTunes and media player playlists)

- Ability to stream it online

- Jams playlist (think iTunes Smart playlist)

- Includes data such as play count, ratings, album artwork

- Tagged to your account so that you can play it on any devices...

...Hold up, you'd say. Any devices? That's impossible because Music beta requires a Flash player. And we all know the all-mighty iPhone doesn't support flash. So, iOS users, if you need any consolation, I'd pat my hand on your back and say "The beta's open to US only. I don't get to use it either... yet."

But really, iTunes is just amazing enough, isn't it? Why would we need something on the cloud? Pffft. I'm sure many of us get the reassuring feeling as we watch our precious data transfer in and out devices via the plain old trustworthy cable.

Just make sure your cat doesn't trip over it when it's doing the transferring.

It's not good for your cat and your data.

Eating sour grapes, from the Biased blog. Peace out.

Review of General Elections 2011

It's been about a week after the GE. This is the first time that I'm a voter and I'm actually glad that the results was as what I had wanted. It was a close call just as with any other areas. We definitely learnt a lot from this year's elections. It's a wake up call with a big sharp whip spank to some, a great encouragement for others and definitely lots of 'boos' and cat calls for the rest. Here's a non-political review on the past few weeks that I've enjoyed sadistically.

Tin Pei Ling vs Nicole Seah
Ah, our all time favorite from the beginning of GE and which is still burning strongly now.
Take a look at Mr. Miyagi's blog post. Within a few seconds of looking at the photos of Tin Pei Ling and Nicole Seah, I came up with this:

The Appeals of Tin Pei Ling and Nicole Seah
Tin Pei Ling	Nicole Seah
In PAP	In NSP
28 years old	24 years old
In a group with very experienced seniors	I only focused her and her only
Married	Single
Possess Kate Spade	Possess great looks
Regrets not bringing her mother to USS SG	I have no idea what her regret is after all that talk
Has many facebook pages created just for her	Has many Likes in her facebook page
Ability to tai chi perfectly	Ability to speak persuasively

I'd put up a points system but it'd be too much for fans for either of them. I'm not going to judge them right now, but wouldn't it be impressive if they battled against each other again 5 years later?

Yam Ah Mee

As a certain someone had told me, Singaporeans probably were so traumatized with the results that they shifted focused to the man of the night: Yam Ah Mee. He became a phenomenon over night with people requesting to be friends with him on Facebook and tribute videos of him here and here. Here's a video of how he spoke originally:

Just perfect for auto-tuning.

Mascots and merchandises

In a bid to grab Singaporeans' attention, some parties came out with mascots and merchandises to sell to their supporters. We have:

The Sinpo Ant from SDA meant to represent the ants' qualities of "team effort, Consultative and Cohesive... and more..." The first thought I had when I saw it was "Were they shortchanged by the designer who designed this?" Apparently not. Well, for a non-artist who drew this, I'd say the Sinpo ant definitely requires a certain amount of effort to create... I think. Other than taking pictures with this mascot, people could also get a Sinpo keychain.

Then there's also :

SDP's bear mascot named Danny. I really couldn't resist thinking that it was creepy looking, especially when hoards of innocent kids ran to it happily. Well, this probably applies to people with warped minds like me. Hey, the bear is cute. Let's not think about what's in there or what it does to the kids when no one is looking.

Lastly, there's PAP's merchandises. We've seen it on TV and every year's National Day. Yes, it shouldn't be a mistake because that's what I thought when I saw it. It's a standard set of PAP flags and caps. They probably had the resources to get the right suppliers for churning out these goods. I did my best attempt to get a good picture of these goods but I couldn't find them anywhere. Well, here's a small compensation on what happens when I tried to search for it on Google. Creepy, isn't it?

The results

The most apparent news that reached my ears is the news of George Yeo and Chiam See Tong. It's impressive because I was probably one of those few who only sat down in front of a laptop, surfing through the net doing something else totally unrelated to the elections and only heard brief news feed from friends who posted their disappointment in Facebook. Well, then there's also PAP's less-than-expected victory at Marine Parade.

The leavers

Following George Yeo's indication that he would be leaving politics, this would be the most recent news as MM Lee and SM Goh announces their retirement right after the elections. Most of us would be happy because after all, these two men deserves their break after serving Singapore for so long. Apparently, SDP likes the idea too and... it'd be better if there was something more following their departure.

I'm sure we're not coming to an end to Singaporeans' heat and interest in the elections. As the saying goes, "We'll probably forget about it in one year's time and lament about it five years later. As usual. Sighs~"

Disclaimers: All pictures and sources belong to its respective owners.

PS: I couldn't help comparing Sinpo and Danny to the elephant and donkey mascots in America. They just sound... cooler

Tech-Tsuko Returns! [Editorial]

Sorry for the lack of updates, we have taken a short break without notice, in short Absent Without Official Leave. So sue us, charge us. Come on.

Anyway, just to announce that Tech-tsuko is not dead, and we have not been slacking off! (Please, try to believe.) We have been following the news closely, and have been keeping tabs of some tsukkomi-able news of late.

And of course, Google I/O! Some exciting news will be coming up, outdated but definitely contains tsukkomi not seen elsewhere!

There will also be a super-long post soon, where I will translate the awesome features arriving in Android and ChromeOS devices for laymen/laywomen to understand! In short: Google announced awesome features and how it changes your life!

Stay tuned! Remember, follow us on Twitter (@techtsuko) and Facebook (via the Sidebar on the right, or search for "Techtsuko"!)

Play iPod/iPhone Games Handsfree! [iOS]

I saw this at miyagi.sg a while ago and found it so ridiculously hilarious.



I understand well that this is an marketing effort, but, this really tempts to me add the following caption to the video:

If you paid for this, you were scammed!

Mayorant: Benchmarks, Benchmarks, Benchmarks...

Source: Phandroid

(Image from cloggedgears)

Samsung Galaxy S II scores an amazing score of 3,500 in Quadrant, a popular Benchmarking app.

So?

In case there are still people still obsessed about benchmarking, I want to make this clear: Benchmarks DO NOT translate to real world performance, and is easily tweaked by developers. Go do a search in XDA-Developers Forums if you still have doubts.

That said, congratulations to Samsung for being able to please the ignorant crowd, and let's see how it transfers to real-life performance with your wonderful tweaks that irritated quite a number of Samsung Galaxy S developers and owners.

It's still not OVER 9000!

Japanese Mobile Phone Ad: A Work Of Art [Mobile]

I've always admired the physical designs of Japanese phones. They're unlike the phones that are sold in Singapore (usually 'forwarded' from the US), holding the same boring look:
- Black/Dark brown/Silver/(rarely)White
- Rectangular design with rounded corners
- One odd looking button at the bottom that probably serves as a stress(making) ball

The brands that our market provides can be counted with both of my hands: Apple, HTC, Motorola, Samsung, LG, Nokia. There may be more, but I usually filter them out of my vision because their physical designs just don't catch my eye!

I wish phones had more variety like this and promoted artistically like what you're seeing below:



Cue the Touch Wood SH-08C, a concept model available at NTT Docomo, sold at a limited amount of 15,000 sets. It's made with the Shimantou Hinoki carved into the shape of a bean. The website even has a disclaimer indicating that the colors of each phone may vary by a little, showing that the phones are made of actual wood with little human interferance to the natural 'waves' of the wood.

It is wear and tear durable, water resistant, worm resistant and fungal resistant. Here's a quick list of the features available:
- "Feel the Forest" theme by moretrees
- Easy to use design where you can customise your buttons
- QWERTY soft keyboard
- Calling buttons and the lock button
- 5.3MP camera
- 3.4" AQUOS AVS screen
- Eco mode to save battery life
- Pedometer
- Noise cancellation

The first thought I had when I saw this phone was "Why did they design it like a kidney? Did some Yakuza sponsor for it?" Still, it'd be a fresh experience if it were to appear in Singapore, even though it probably would be stuffed into one corner of the store.

Really, it wouldn't be too much to ask for phones in more colors, would it?

Drooling at the thought of LG ice cream and Google Ice Cream, from the Biased blog, peace out.

Motorola Announced Unlockable Bootloaders. Nobody Believes. [Android]

Source: AndroidPolice

(Image from XDA-Developers)

The above was a photo taken from prison cell #1203, the latest offender in the house. Nicknamed Atrix.

As you might or might not know, Motorola's Android phones are ALL locked down at bootloader level, except for the Droid. Which resulted in many dissatisfied customers. Mainly because of their shoddy programming and slow updates.

They released a statement just today:

"It is our intention to enable the unlockable/relockable bootloader currently found on Motorola XOOM across our portfolio of devices starting in late 2011, where carriers and operators will allow it.”

LIES, here's a few reasons why:
- Tethering: In the US, tethering costs money, and the carriers earn from it

= MONEY

- Carrier and partners' app bloatware: Money-making schemes for the carriers and their partners

= MONEY

- Bootanimation: Instead of awesome bootanimations that can be changed in the kernel, they force you to stare at the carriers' or the Big M logo and make you a walking advertisement

= MONEY

In short, it all amounts to one reason: MONEY.

Prove me wrong then, release devices as fun as the Nexus series, or continue to have your PR department tortured by us Facebook users.

Stop Hiding Your Love For Steve Jobs, iPhone Users [Idolism]

Source: Gizmodo

(Image from Wired.com)

Well well, iPhone users. As much as you all would like to deny, many of you know Steve Jobs, or even love him. In your little closet, you might have googled images of him from all angles, holding magical devices on stage, imagining if you were the devices instead, held by his magical fingers.

That probably will not happen, but you can now do the reverse: imagine Steve Jobs lives in your iPhone and hold him in your hands instead. You always knew he's looking after you from your phone, don't you?

You probably would gather all your believer friends in a small room, put your iPhone with that magical casing on a table with Steve Jobs facing all of you, kneel down and bow to him for his magic.

Update: It seems that the product has been taken off the planes of reality, but we have provided two alternatives for you to drool at. Enjoy!

(Image from Geeky-Gadgets.com)

(Image and details at Gizmodo)

Bad News: Facebook for Android Remove Misunderstood Feature; There Goes My Real Social Life Again [Apps]

Source: AndroidPolice

(Image from potatochipping.com)

Great. Just great. When I thought I could have my real social life back again, Facebook (for the first time) pushed out a quick update for its Android app.

To refresh your memory, the previous version added a new feature: Constant Force Closing. And it's really constant, I loved it. It made me go out more, check my mobile phone much lesser, and actually build good relationships with my friends.

But before the last point could happen, they updated the app and removed the feature.

Dang.

How To Have A Great Time With Your Favourite ATM Machine. [Spoof]

Inspired by the wonderful Citibank ATM, Explodreamer realised how many people do not build good relationships and decided to write an idiot-proof guide. (Unnecessary comments by Mayora Gori)

I'm sure any one of us has faced problems when using an ATM machine. There could have been no more receipt paper, your card could have been captured for no apparent reason, the cash was stuck at the cash dispenser before it could come out and/or the machine just shut down when it saw you approaching.

Thus, I've created a guide where you could improve your relationship with your ATM machine to ensure smooth and successful transactions in the future.

Disclaimer: Try it at your own risk and reputation. There is no damage compensation for following this guide.

The Guide:
Setting up:

Choose a time and place at night where you and your ATM machine will not be interrupted by other patrons. Make sure you clean your card squeaky before you visit your ATM machine, for hygiene reasons.


Once you are ready emotionally and physically: 
- Stand in front of your ATM machine.
- Take your card slowly and carefully out of your trousers, so nobody would see it.
- Dip in your card in the slot in a smooth motion and take it out to begin.
- Repeat the steps of dipping it in and taking it out continuously.
- However, slow down when you begin to hear annoying beeps from your ATM machine; you wouldn't want your card to be taken away from you.
- Enjoy!

Understanding Parts of an ATM Machine:

The picture above illustrates the various parts of an ATM machine.

The list below explains how to tell when it's time.

1) A**hole (or commonly known as the card slot)

Dip your card in and take it out.

2) Sensual areas (or commonly known as the number pad)

It's the only part where you can touch and savor its texture to your heart's content legitimately. Every button pronounces the same 'beep' so you need to practice often so that you don't forget what makes your ATM machine happy.

3) V*g**a (or commonly known as the currency box)

Currency notes are kept in there until you visit your ATM machine. The amount you get at the end of a session depends on how you pamper your ATM machine.

4) Sweet spot (as seen graphically)

You'll hear endless purrs as your ATM machine flips the notes for you sensually. Talk about seduction.

5) Dead End (or commonly known as reject box)

This is where your cash will be if you push your ATM machine too hard. It will choke and your cash will be retained in the machine before you see it.

6) Org**m (or commonly known as the cash dispenser)
You know you've done it right when you see the notes flapping at you wantonly.

7) Tissue Box (or commonly known Receipt Printer)

Take one and clean yourself up as you weep for the fact that you've decreased your savings once again.

Wrap-up:

Give yourself a pat on the back if you've read through the whole guide. I thank you very much for your patience, you an*l pervert.

Screwing youGuiding you from the Biased blog, peace out.

Picture source: Bustathief.com is a useful site in educating the public on ATM Machine Fraud and has nothing to do with this guide.


Mayora Gori: Thanks for the insight into the mind of those STOMP readers.

Bad Command Of English Or Too Imaginative? [Engrish]

Source: STOMP

I can't believe how low-quality this post is. It's not even funny. If you find it funny, there's seriously probably something wrong with you. Physically.

("Hmm. I'll go for 'Extra Services'." Fap fap fap.)

Let's just post the questionable quote here, saving you the time to visit the source link:

"Please dip your card in the slot and take it out - so we can begin"

Apparently a STOMP reader had dirty thoughts after seeing the message. How his/her body reacted is not known to us, fortunately.

Anyway, he/she apparently finds an ATM card resembling a certain male-exclusive reproductive organ (not saying which!) resembling this:

(EXPLICIT PICTURE ALERT)

(Uncensored picture of STOMP reader's reproductive organ lookalike)

(EXPLICIT PICTURE ALERT) 

(Said STOMP reader's idea of reproduction in humans.)

Sorry for the uncensored pictures, but I had to be blunt.

Our message to the STOMP reader:

So you think all male reproductive organs look like that!?
Assuming you're male, you look down and you see what we normally think is an ATM card?
Your school taught you that all females have an ATM card slot down there?
And sex = inserting your ATM card which expanded from a nail drive into an ATM card slot?
And that people are being couth for inserting their ATM card into ATM card slots publicly and taking it out?

Now stop touching your ATM card, it's disgusting.

Mayora Gori: Now let me clarify this: I know that the sentence itself does sound awkward, but anybody with some logic and sense would know that it doesn't sound suggestive THAT MUCH. It's not even funny- oh wait, 50% of the readers on STOMP LOL-ed. Seriously, grow up. And Citibank, it's good to be creative and different, but don't make it sound weird. And get your hands off your ATM card, I'm warning you.

Misleading Newspaper Headlines. So Bad It Makes Glass Turn Brown When You Wipe With It. [FAIL]

Source: mrbrown.com

I was drinking my Yakult happily when Mayora Gori alerted me to this headline from the New Paper. *sprays juice all over screen*

(Image from mrbrown.com)

If you're not a Singaporean, you might find this post obscure. What's wrong with gays? Is being gay wrong? Well, it's not wrong, at least to me. Now, this is some kind of moral/ethical topic that could go on for light years and I'm not interested in that.

Here's some background:

As according to Section 377A of the Penal Code, generally speaking (very general), it's not legal to have gay sex. But hey, it's not as if every neighborhood has an ambassador to check on the sexual preference of every resident.

In any case, my highlight here is the headline itself.

... Gay MP? (MP means member of Parliament)

Who said that he's gay? Hands up if you thought the headlines was directed at the Indian dressed in red.

Upon a simple investigation, it can be easily deduced that New Paper took the term from a STOMPer who took the literal meaning of the man's sarcastic words -"future gay MP, Vincent Wijeysingha".

I'd be gay to post the link to the video of this "gay forum" but from the looks of it, it'll probably be taken down within these couple of days. If you are really keen on listening to the man, you could try searching 'Vincent Wijeysingha - Gay agenda' on Youtube. Good luck and have a gay week ahead.

Wiping my 20" screen quietly, peace out.

Update: I've digged out the origins for this chronicle. Enjoy.

What Does The "I" in iPad And iMovie Stand For? Steve Jobs. [FAIL]

Source: USAToday

(Image from Ophelia's Blog)

I was surfing around Apple fansites and voilà, here's a wonderful article for all sadistic anti-Apple fans. This article reviews the video making aspects of iPad 2.

Here's a quick look at what it's packed with:
- shoot and edit high-definition video on the go (Mayora: "high".)
- trim your clips (Mayora: so new!)
- add in menus, titles, music and sound effects ... record voice-overs for narration (Mayora: Wow.)

Here's my justification for iPad2, taken direct from the article:

"The pros are big: a huge screen, instant gratification, exceptional video quality in good light. But the cons are many: no flash, no zoom and it’s bulky. It does not fit well into a pocket or tote. There’s no tripod mount for it either, so your finished video could get quite shaky. And the unsteadiness is much more noticeable on the larger screen."

Of course, you can fix it easily by thinking on the spot such as like this:

Definitely a black bird.

Before you can start editing your videos, you need either of these apps: iMovie app for $4.99, ReelDirector for $1.99, Splice for $1.99.

As per tradition, you can't edit any videos imported from other cameras and sources.You will need to have the clips taken via iPhone 4 or iPad 2 camera. It's not a dead end though, because you can easily import a footage and "convert to iPad" via iTunes. Don't forget to sync your laptop and iPad.

Don't forget to sync, or you'll see nothing.

The article was kind enough to compare the capabilities of iPad 2 with cameras such as this.

... Don't worry, I assure you that you were reading about iPad 2.

Reporting sadistically from the Biased blog, peace out.

Explodreamer: I swear it was a pain in the ass when I was searching for details on iMovie, ReelDirector and Splice. Google actually does a better job of listing Apple's apps then the App store itself.


Mayora Gori: Cue the biased techfreak here. To put it simply, Apple DO NOT have the means to create a smooth video player, music player, and especially not video editor. That is the main reason why everything has to go through iTunes, so everything can be made optimum for iDevices, at the sacrifice of quality, freedom and time to go out with friends. Or make an awesome montage with videos contributed by your friends and you without lugging a laptop with iTunes around.
Personal? My big butt. Everything you do on this device is dictated by Apple, by Steve Jobs. Call it the uPad, uPod, uPhone. Specially made for you, my dear Steve Jobs.

Ocarina of Time 3DS interface, gameplay and trailer [Gaming]

Source: Nintendo3DSBlog

I was trying to wake myself up in the office when I saw Mayora Gori's post to me. It's a video done by Nintendo3DS on some gameplay footages and a short trailer for Ocarina of Time on the 3DS.



"Move the Nintendo 3DS and you are able to see the world through Link's perspective"
The first feature showed immediately in the video is the gyroscope controls in the game. Its beauty is amplified when you see the player shifting the 3DS into the Sun and you see the pretty sunrays shining right at you.

"You can feel as if you're directly controlling the slingshot and other similar items"
If you've played the game before on N64, you would have known that when switching to weapons such as the bow and arrow or the slingshot will switch you into first person perspective. With gyroscope, you can gladly shoot around like a hero in-game while looking like an idiot in real life. (Don't worry, you can still play it the traditional way.)

"Improved interface with 2 screens"
The next highlight of the video is the interface of the game. It is convenient (as it should be for a handheld game).

"The number of items that you can set and you can change them quickly with the bottom screen"
More items set means lesser time spent distracted by your beautiful sword and shield.

"Touch the item that you have set to use it"
"You can check your progress on the map on the bottom screen while you play"
Very convenient. It's one of the features that I dislike in all of the previous games (because no console/handheld had two screen). Of course, you could press the preset buttons as well.

Towards the end of the trailer, it shows Link riding Epona on the Hyrule field. The images are less polygon now (something that I love to poke at) and the music as awesome as ever. The view streams away from Link and Epona, and towards the entrance of Kokiri village.

Which reminds me.

Why isn't Majora's Mask packed together!? The scene actually reminds me of how Link returns to Kokiri village after the events of Ocarina of Time, even though I know it's made to show that 'everything happened from here.' Since you have the Master Quest packaged with it, surely you could squeeze in another Majora's Mask!!!

Give me Majora's Mask as well, Nintendo.

PS: I didn't get play to play Majora's Mask in its full glory because I was intimidated with the quests available. I remember vaguely playing for hours and hours, and I haven't even entered the first dungeon. Still, I'd love the idea of porting it to 3DS.

RantingReporting via the Biased blog, peace out.

Facebook For Android Adds Best Feature No Other Developer Dares to Try [Fail]

Source: AndroidPolice

(The recent update also announced Facebook's new mobile branch's name. Image from GlobeTrottingTexan.)

FaceBook recently updated their Android app, bringing it to a higher level nobody could comprehend. It added a feature that works, and constantly kicks in, giving users surprises - constant Force Close.

Sad to say most users do now understand the intricacy of this feature. Facebook has been under critics (from my neighbour, the b_tchy old woman) that it has been destroying real-life relationships as the bonds created online are virtual, and will remain that way.

FaceBook apparently heard her concerns, and decided to try this improvement on the fastest-growing crowd OS of choice of smartphone users.

Sadly not many people could appreciate how caring FaceBook is for your real-life relationships. I'm sad.

"We Think Technology (Like Nintendo 3DS) Is Evil, But We'll Use It To Make You Come To Us Anyway" [FAIL]

Source: Nintendo3DSBlog via Kare


I have nothing against any religion, but this blog is to dig out the contradictions and sometimes, stupidity people over the world have been performing to the rest of the world. It might be working, but how many people go there just for the sake of getting freebies? And on top of that, is the money better spent giving out "crap" instead of helping the people in need?


Hmm. So "crap" is worth more than fellow human beings. Awesome.

(Behold, the symbol of evil. Image from www.evilcontrollers.com)

Oh, the irony. Recently there were a few incidents of statements regarding the evil internet and technology. How about devices that combine the two of them (practically everything you buy out there now)? Pure evil.

Yet someone out there is trying to be innovative, and has "no problem bribing people with crap in order to meet Christ."

Of course! All for the bigger picture, right?

Urgh.

iPod Has Amazing Battery Life, Warns You Really Early. [Spoofs]

Source: FailBlog

You never have to charge your battery again with the new iPod. Has a battery life like never before, and warns you so early that you won't ever have to feel the sense of danger (and wetting your pants) whenever you see the Low Battery warning again! (The 20% at the top-right is the new Awesome Meter measuring how awesome your songs are)

I know it's a jailbroken iPod with hacked strings, but seriously, look at the comments. People jailbreak to do stuff like this? Worth the effort? Probably but look at what others jailbreak for. Inform me of a person who jailbreak not for pirating the apps just to save a dollar or two. And apparently the people who left comments don't understand humour. Awesome.

Motorola Xoom (Wi-Fi Edition without Usable Wi-Fi): First Impressions [Android]

Official Site: Motorola


Ok, I won't do a full review (because many other sites have in-depth reviews and analysis already), because I don't own a set (would love to though, are you reading this Motorola?)

I spent about an hour with the Motorola Xoom. However, it was in a commercial electronics store, I'm not a famous blogger (yet [hehe]) and I activated their security alarm like three times because it came off easily. Not telling where to protect their security and, of course more importantly, image. =)

Anyway back to the Xoom.

Hardware:
Overall, it is rather light, lighter than I had expected from a tablet that big. It also felt really sturdy. However the weight does show after a while of using it. Design I have nothing to say. Simple, black (can't go wrong with black), and maximises the screen quite well. I have seen sites complaining about the border, but think seriously, without the border your non-master hand will keep touching the screen unless it is always at the bottom, which gets tiring really quickly.

Camera is pretty decent, because it is at least 5 megapixels and not some embarrassingly-low resolution. Yes I do know resolution is not everything, but it does affect the amount of detail you can capture with a camera, and especially if you don't have steady hands and an optimum lighting environment.

Regarding the power button at the back, I actually like it. Stop complaining you left-handers, you do know most of the world's population are right handers right? Anyway I personally do not think it matters if you are left- or right-handed, it should be easy enough to reach either way.

Software:
Interface is what have been shown to the death online: Stock Honeycomb (Android 3.0). Feels really fast on that Tegra 2 chip. Everything just felt very user-friendly, and being able to view live updates and customise the home screen with Honeycomb widgets (I personally like the Bookmark, Calendar, Market and Music apps) which all look simple and function well. Having a lively desktop does make a difference to whether you want to look at it, in my opinion. Notification bar is now a popup from the bottom right, and works in any app. I actually love the new notification bar which has information as well as quick access to settings.

Camera interface is great, with features you would expect from a cheap digital camera, but it is nothing the Android Market cannot fix if you are clamouring for more. Nicely-designed interface, very suitable for taking photos without fear of shaking the Xoom too much as the shutter button is really positioned very well. As for video camera, the default one's rather decent, and since there are not many video camera replacements on the Market yet.

Movie Editor was one highlight during the conference held by Google. It has actually more functions than I thought. Thanks to the dual-core insides, the Movie Editor could handle movie editing with effects and transitions rather decently. It's not the best movie editor out there, but it does the job and for most users, it's more than enough to edit and upload a video to YouTube or any other video-sharing site.

Music Player, YouTube, Market and the Browser could not be tested in more detail in the display set I got my hairy hands on, as there was no Wi-Fi connection in the shop for me to use, and my phone's battery was in critical condition, and decided not to try to tether. The Browser looked very much like Chrome, and has syncing with Chrome. Nothing much I can say about it, unfortunately.

Games, as you might have expected, could not be tested as well, due to the Xoom I tried being a largely out-of-the-box device and not having any internet connection. Sorry dual-core processor, I could not abuse you.

However, I tried the Acer Iconia Tab sitting right beside the Xoom, and played Need For Speed: Shift with it. To nobody's surprise (he's a naive guy, he is), it runs at a high resolution, and everything was really smooth. However as I am not a fan of racing games (ok I just played very badly and decided to explore other features of it) I put it down after realizing it is pretty much like the Xoom with little customization from Acer.

Would recommend if you:
-like tablets which can multi-task, customizable, shows live updates on the home screen all together without having to access any app, has a great and non-intrusive notification system.
-like more intensive gaming, which will definitely pick up this year as more and more Tegra 2 devices roll out.
-has the spare cash to spend on it. A bit pricey, but it beats the performance of most, if not all netbooks I have seen.

Would not recommend if you:
-need applications available only on Windows/Mac (like me)
-think that everything without an Apple logo is bad.
-only want to play casual games, do simple tasks that do not require integration between apps, play music and video (after waiting patiently for iTunes to convert and transfer)
-still love Microsoft Windows and cannot live without the applications available for it.
-are not rich enough to afford this (duh).

Hackability:
Full. As a Google flagship device, it is unlockable.

I personally do not see much of a use for tablets now. I would expect tablets to pick up when mobile network becomes a must for most people. Also when laptops/desktops/netbooks become irrelevant for most people. However if you are really looking for a productive tablet (and not some oversized music/video player which I have never seen people doing productive stuff with, only Angry Birds, Bejeweled, Plants Vs. Zombies and similar games), the Xoom is definitely the way to go for now.